Positive Discipline: Praise or Encouragement

An internet search churns up many articles on discipline. Most articles hammer a distinction between discipline and punishment. Discipline is considered as positive and corrective whereas punishment is regarded as negative and punitive. One article portrays punishment as being part of discipline. This article does not pursue the above debate as it has been discussed extensively. Currently the new emphasis is on positive discipline and there are now a number of readings on discipline and praise and discipline and encouragement. In this article the distinction between praise and encouragement is analysed and a possible relation between the two concepts are explored as a basis for positive discipline.

The proponents of praise state that praise is effective in promoting positive behaviour. If a parent or teacher notices good behaviour and praises it, this motivates a child to improve the behaviour and continue to be compliant. It is also stated that good behaviour often goes unnoticed and this may lead children to misbehave in order to receive negative attention. Praise gurus argue that if some children are misbehaving and others are behaving well, the parent or educator should focus on those who are compliant and praise them so that the others start behaving well to also receive praise. The important point is to catch your child doing good and provide praise for good behaviour. As to when praise should be given, it is stipulated that it must be given immediately to reinforce the positive behaviour. Praise should also be framed positively. Parents and teachers should point out the behaviour they want to see more often and not the behaviour that they hope to diminish.

The above views on discipline and praise fall into the behaviourist model of stimulus and response. The Positive Discipline movement wishes to steer away from this and argues against praise. The gist of the reasoning is as follows:

• Praise addresses the doer; encouragement focuses on the deed

• Praise is patronising and manipulative; encouragement is respectful and appreciative

• Praise is judgmental; encouragement is self-directing

• Praise invites children to change for others which leads to "approval junkies"; encouragement invites children to change for themselves (inner direction)

• Praise teaches dependence on the evaluation of others; encouragement promotes self-evaluation

• The goal of praise is conformity; the goal of encouragement is understanding

The two approaches to discipline stand in opposition to one another. This is the typical thinking of the modernistic movement which positions ideas against each other. This is regarded by the post modern movement as an "either-or" approach. A post modern educator would like to argue for a healthy working relation between praise and encouragement. This is known as a "both-and" approach to ideas. A good example of the above approaches is South African politics in the 1990s when Apartheid was the form of government. The ruling National Party and liberation movements were antagonistic towards each other and this could have resulted in a blood bath. However, a government of national unity was formed in which all the parties formed one peaceful government for a while. Similarly both praise and encouragement have their merits in promoting positive discipline. To argue that praise addresses the child whereas encouragement focuses on the deed renders the latter as impersonal. The educator needs to focus on both the child as a person and the deed.

A neuroscience perspective informs us that humans are hardwired for both emotional and social interaction from birth. Good parents and educators need to relate to the child in a deep emotional and social way with regard to positive discipline. While children are young they need to learn to conform to rules for their own safety ("Do not touch the fire") and well-being of other children ("No hitting"). They can be praised for doing this. As they grow older and acquire more communicative and cognitive skills, encouragement should play a larger role in promoting self-evaluation, inner direction and self-esteem. This then is a suggestion as to how the two approaches may be reconciled towards positive discipline.

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