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Children and Spirituality



I try my best to give my son an idea of what religion and what spirituality means. One of the things we do therefore is visiting religious places. Today we went to the Xingtian temple in Taipe. The temple is devoted to Guang Yu (Guang Gong) and Lawrence knows that he was a legendary warrior from the Three Kingdom Period. Guang Yu is an inspiration to many people even today. He was very skilled in martial arts and was famous for his wisdom, righteousness and loyalty.
When we came here the last time, Lawrence was six years old and he observed how people where throwing red half-moon shaped blocks on the ground. I told him that it are oracle blocks and that people are seeking divine guidance from it by praying while holding them and then throwing them on the ground. By the way they fall they receive answers to their questions. The little boy asked if he could try it. I saw no harm in this and I gave him the blocks.
He put the blocks in his hands in front of him, closes his eyes and after a while he throws them on the ground. He opens his eyes and looks with great attention to the blocks. I saw a relief on his face when the oracle blocks indicated a "yes". He picks up the blocks, closes his eyes and throws them a second time. Again the blocks indicate "yes" and again his face shows an expression of relief and contentment. The seriousness with which he was doing it made me a bit worried so before he would throw them a third time I asked him what the questions where that he asked just now. The little boy answered: "The first question was if there would be another life after this life and the second one was if my best friend Neil would still be my best friend in the next life." That explained the relief and the smile on his face when the blocks indicated "Yes" in both cases. A bit surprised by the kind of questions he was asking and worried about his next question (and even more of its answer), I decided to end the little ritual.
The little boy was a bit disappointed because he had so many things to ask he said. I remembered a Chinese story that helped to explain it. I told him to treat these kind of things as one would treat a lucky dragon. When you come across a lucky dragon in your life, every time you touch him you will be lucky. But every time you touch him, he would also shrink a little and get smaller and smaller. So if you would touch him too many times in a short period he would disappear very fast. If you feel happy in life because you feel you received something that is nice, just like your answers just now, enjoy them and learn to cherish them and don't go immediately for more. If we would know everything the future will bring, we wouldn't be able to enjoy what is here and now.
He is eleven now and became more skeptical about religion and all things related to God. I found this a good thing because he is using his own mind to find out what is right and what is not. However, I was happy today that he remembered the story of the lucky dragon and that in life you must moderate things.

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The Dangers of Ignoring Reading Difficulty in Children



Many children struggle a little when they start to learn to read but time and good teaching helps them to overcome those initial difficulties. However, if by half way through his first year, your child can't recognize around one hundred common, short words then he may be experiencing difficulties. Don't disregard the signs as the dangers of ignoring reading difficulty in children can be traumatic and far reaching.
Embarrassment and Frustration
Reading difficulty in children brings out all sorts of emotions; embarrassment because they look foolish in front of their class mates and frustration because no matter how hard they try, they just can't get the words out and reading aloud in class becomes a trial.
School children being what they are, children with reading problems will be teased and even bullied by their class mates, and may end up in trouble by trying to fight the bullies.
Teachers and parents of these children see an apparently intelligent child who doesn't seem to be trying to learn to read, so they are labelled "lazy" or "careless" or "stupid". This adds to the child's frustrations because he is trying so hard, but he just can't live up to adults' expectations.
Anxiety and Anger
Children with reading problems can become anxious and withdrawn if nobody recognizes that they have a genuine difficulty. Because these children expect to fail, they will become anxious when faced with a new situation which involves participation in school work.
Reading difficulties can also lead to an unstable temperament. Teachers and parents think the child isn't trying, class mates think he's stupid and he can do nothing about it, so he becomes angry and starts to lash out at those closest to him such as parents or siblings.
Self-Esteem
A child who is unable to read properly will have difficulties with any other school work which requires reading. As he gets older there will be more and more subjects which require reading skills, such as history and geography to name but two.
A child with normal reading abilities will develop his own self-image during his school years and in general, it will be a positive one leading him to believe that all things are possible and that the world is his oyster.
Children with reading problems will begin to feel inferior to their school mates and siblings who can read fluently. Constant failure will lead to feelings of low self-esteem and a reluctance to make an effort because doing so doesn't make any difference. Their view of the future will be a dim one and they won't expect to succeed in life.
The Consequences
The dangers of ignoring reading difficulty in children can result in any or all of the above emotions for the children, and many of them fail to complete school because it seems so pointless, and of those who do graduate from high school very few go on to further education.
If you suspect that your child is having difficulty reading, do seek help while he's young and don't let him develop into a frustrated and angry adult.
There are excellent online phonics reading programs to help resolve reading difficulty in children and you can find the best ones on this website, Start to Read.

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Play - Giving Childhood Back To Children



I grew up in an upper middle income community in South Florida on a lake and many of our neighbors like us had maids and yard men, which in those days meant your family was doing pretty well. We had the nice pool that all the kids come over to in the afternoon for a dip when the weather was too hot to ride bikes to climb trees. It was a real neighborhood where the families talked to each other and watched out for each others kids. And more important kids were able to be kids and play.
Finding someone's bike left out behind our car in the front driveway seemed almost a daily occurrence. It seemed that when their mom's would holler for them to come home for dinner they would run off with their sisters or brothers and skee dattle home leaving their bikes behind.
We had the house where all the kids loved to come and hang out. It was fun. My father even built on to the house and created a game room with pool and ping pong tables to gather and socialize with our friends. It would have seemed like we had the ultimate family until that dreadful day.
My parents gathered my sister, brother and I together and sat us down to tell us their news. Dad and mom were getting a divorce and dad was moving out. That day my world changed. I went from being a happy go lucky child, not having a care in the world, to a child who felt the stress of her parent's adult world.
I grew up in that moment. I became serious. I was given a pen and piece of paper at age five and told to write down my new chores because mom was going to need extra help and many things were going to change. Boy, was I unaware of just how different things were about to become.
Childhood after that day was no longer carefree. I was told I had to grow up and become responsible. I took what they said seriously and after my father moved out I began taking on a lot of the rolls that our maid used to fulfill. I began cooking, cleaning, and being the older sister even though I was the youngest of three.
We no longer could afford the house with all the luxuries that once was ours when both dad and mom lived under the same roof. We eventually had to sell it and move to a house my mom could afford. Mom also had to get a job to support us which was tough back then for women because they made peanuts for their hard work. She worked two jobs many times just to make ends meet. There wasn't much time let to nurture us when she came home most night clasping from exhaustion.
Mom was taken to a hospital due to a nervous breakdown. I was so sad to see her in such pain but on the outside I wanted to act big and not cry so that others would know that I was not being responsible. She finally came home and returned to work but it took her a long time to recover and the scars it left on me still continue.
I went on to buckle down in school and graduate early because I thought school was a waist of time and I should get on out there and work. I missed out on many things by this sentence that seemed to have been placed on me. I am sure it was my own perception of that day that cost me like many other children, their childhood. But like so many other kids from broken homes, two parent working homes, or other hardships to where growing up in the world today surely seems certainly difficult.
It wasn't until I had my first daughter was born some thirteen years ago and she began teaching me how to play all over again. It was very difficult at first. I had a very short attention span to color, skip or play Barbie. I even had a real hard time cutting up and laughing about nothing. We took baby steps together. She seemed to understood how hard it was for me especially mentally and emotionally but she was very patient with me. She would ask me to play and understand most times when the little voice in my head was telling me I should be responsible and doing something to earn a living for us. I couldn't stay long and it took some time to stop those old familiar toons that made me responsible and replace them with new ones that allowed me to take some time to play.
So often we put the pressure on our kids to grow up, quit fooling around and get serious. I have parents and grandparents who come to me wanting me to teach their kids how to write and learn because they see my kids and want their kids to perform better. The pressures put on kids entering preschool these day to write their name and read is creating a bunch of depressed kids on prozac. Do you know there are more antidepressants prescribed for kids than the elderly? Something is wrong here and the kids are not the ones to blame.
Many kids are whisked off to daycare before they were a few weeks old with their nutrients coming from their bottles that are propped up in their crib. They miss out on being touched, show love and many of the foundational experiences that set us up for a life of success.
Today almost 80% of infants and children are put in childcare daily. The parents are trying to make ends meet and our kids are suffering. The statistics are that one in three babies born in the United States are to unwed mothers, 60 percent are born to women older than 30. According to the Census Bureau, of all children born in 1993, 6.3 million were born to single women, up from 3.7 million in 1983 and 243,000 in 1960. Can you see the trend and I am sure it hasn't gotten any better.
There is a breakdown and kids are not being shown how to love by being loved. We have a whole generation of kids piercing themselves and many of them to get attention in unhealthy ways because they were not show love in healthy ways.
I think it is high time that we adults quit being so serious and return childhood to where it belongs and that is with our children. Let them teach you how to play as my daughters have done with me. Be open to experiencing a little more laughter each day and see what wonders it will do not only for your relationship with your children, but also your health, your productivity at work and your ability to make ends meet.
If you don't have any children of your own, go borrow some. There are many kids out their needing a friend who would love to teach you how to play. But it is really important for you to change roles with them and stop being the know it all and allow them to teach you how to observe the world with curiosity and wonder again. Allow them to spark your sense of adventure and ability to dream again.
Who knows you might be as fortunate as I am to be able to play for a living vs. working a job just to make a living. I get to enjoy my girls daily and home school them so that we can learn from each other and make our lives full and rich with all that life has to offer. I have a wonderful husband who shares in making my life as playful as possible.
It seemed I followed my mother's pathway and our stories were almost identical. I had the big house, all the stuff, the kids but what I was missing was something inside. It was not something someone could give me or something I could buy. Once I healed the little girl in me that wanted to be creative and play my life took a major turn. Now I realize how important it is for me to nurture that connection inside of me. My life is now so enriched because I am being true to the child in me. Play is so important, not just for me, but for everyone.
I hope you will take time to get to know what kind of play makes you happy and get out their and experience some of the good life. Even if you take those long forgotten riding lessons that your dad said you couldn't, or swing high on the swing set at the local park because you never were able to swing. Find time to paint even if you think it looks silly at first and remember to smile as you are doing it always. It is so amazing when we realize that kids know how to effortlessly play and yet we as adults find it so hard to do. Lighten up and laugh out loud and you would will become anew.

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Indigo and Crystal Children



Indigo children
Indigo children possess an extremely high consciousness and intelligence accompanied by high activity levels. Their purpose is to bring about positive change in the world and they have the latent energy and drive required to make them leaders in the different fields of endeavor. These children can be identified by their tendency to challenge conventional thinking and behaviour and this makes it difficult for them to adapt to traditional methods of education, as they may be perceived as hyperactive, uncooperative and disinterested. Indigo children are thus better suited to the more holistic tutoring styles and individualistic educational approaches that are offered by some private schools.
Nurturing your indigo child
Apart from normal child-rearing practices, parents of indigo children have an added responsibility to create an environment where their children will be able to unfold their full potential. However, they must not fall prey to the recent populist approach to allow them to do as they please, as many years of research into child development have shown that all children, even gifted ones, require boundaries and firm guidance in the form of consistent discipline from both parents, especially at an early age (Fein, 1978). Fortunately, the universe is cognisant of these facts and these children will generally choose to be born into a family where at least one of the parents recognises their special gifts, has the ability to correctly nurture them and takes the appropriate steps.
Crystal children
Crystal children can be identified by their affinity for nature, especially animals and crystals. They are less outgoing and certainly more reserved than indigo children, but have natural gifts of healing and clairvoyance. Their purpose is to assist with healing, including the healing of the planet as a whole. Having a close affinity to nature, they will often speak of fairies and with the proper training, will actually be able to communicate with these natural energies as well as with animals.
Nurturing your crystal child
Crystal children will generally have no problem with schoolwork, except possibly boredom, as they are also exceptionally intelligent. They can cope with a mainsteam school, but obviously a more holistic private educational institution will be an added benefit. They should be encouraged to enter the healing profession in some form or another. And it would also be a good idea to place such a child under the regular tutorship of a number of spiritual teachers in order to learn the different natural healing modalities (including crystal work), and to unfold their full natural potential. Once again, parents have the responsibility to guide and mentor the crystal child, who will also generally be born into a family where at least one of the parents is able to perform this task.

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How to Keep Internet Predators at Bay While Children Play: Five Internet Safety Tips



I read a gut-twisting article this week in the South Australian Herald Sun about several adults, including parents, who were arrested for creating and selling child pornography on the Internet. The writer had a really good point near the end of the piece that is worth reiterating: "No matter how young your children are and how innocent their internet games may seem, if they're able to chit-chat to other game-users, it's possible they're interacting with predators."

So feeling rather disturbed about the booming online exploitation of children and youth, I put the issue to some of my techno-geek programmer friends to see what they think parents can do to keep their children safe on the Web.

One of the geeks summed it up nicely. He said, "The only way to guarantee safety online for children is to keep them off the World Wide Web. Every point of access via the Web introduces vulnerabilities. The only way to guarantee no vulnerability is to eliminate all access."

If that's true, that online games are a risky place for children to play, then how do we keep our children safe online?

#1. Never let them surf alone. It sounds counterintuitive. We parents use online games to keep our kids busy so that we can do other more important mom and dad stuff. But, think about it. Would you send your child downtown to hang out by herself while you do the dishes or wash the car? Internet surfing and chatting should be 100% supervised until you know your kids can handle themselves.

#2. Talk about Internet safety. Discuss scenarios just like you would if you were explaining what to do if approached by a stranger. Tell your child to let you know if anyone makes uncomfortable contact with them on the Web and keep the lines of communication open.

#3. Create an Internet safety plan for the whole family. When your children are mature enough to be on the Web without your supervision, create a plan that defines usage, limits and safety rules for surfing and stick to it as a family.

#4. Get Web-savvy. If you are not able to surf the Web with confidence, you need to change that. Ideally, parents should be more confident or at least as equally confident as their children when it comes to all things Internet.

#5. Just say no! If your child is not mature enough to play freely on the Internet and you don't have time to supervise, just say no and get them on a non-Internet connected game. Or get them on a safe, protected online game which doesn't allow access to a browser or have chat or email.

Laura Thomas is the Director of Writing for http://cackleberries.com/ which is a 100% safe place for children to play and learn on the Internet. While Cackleberries' application is Internet enabled and self-updating, access is restricted to private servers and private content. Children are never presented with links they can click on to open random web pages in a standard browser. There is no player-to-player contact in the game, so no predator can connect with children in the game.


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Taking Back Our Streets! How to Encourage Safe Outdoor Play in Public Places for Children Under 12



While most Boomers grew up with a mom at home who probably shuffled them outside to play unsupervised on a daily basis, it's ironic that this same generation has been accused of being hyper-cautious helicopter parents who have created new generations of even more extreme helicopter parents.

Whether you buy into this accusation or not, there is no question that these days suburban streets, parks and school playgrounds are mostly empty most of the time. Ironically, these child-friendly public spaces are not full of kids hanging out, organizing impromptu scrub or basketball games or playing freeze tag. So where are all the children? Why aren't they out on their own, en mass, in public spaces?

It's fear-fear that our children will be hurt, bullied, stolen or abused. These fears are the ones that keep kids under lockdown after school, on weekends and during summer vacation. And when you couple that fear with the fact that most families have both parents working full time, you end up with empty streets and empty playgrounds.

There is no question that there are individuals in every community who may be dangerous, but is there any way to salvage this situation? Is it possible to give the streets, parks and playgrounds back to our children?

Here are a few things you can do to help take back the streets for your kids.

#1. Live in the right place. When choosing a place to live and raise a family, don't underestimate the value of an area where there are lots of families with young children. Then, choose a cul-de-sac, dead-end street or a townhouse complex that is somewhat self-contained. If you can combine that with an elementary school in walking distance, your life as a parent is going to be sublime.

#2. Supervise in shifts. Even if it feels like you are hardly ever home and never have time, it pays big dividends to know your neighbours, especially the ones with children the same ages as your own. Come up with an outdoor play supervision schedule. In shifts, one parent at a time can be the outside play supervisor.

#3. Use a rubber brand bracelet. If it is reasonable to send your child to play in a public area that is not supervised by an adult, take a thick rubber band and write your name and phone number on it. Have your child wear the rubber band as a bracelet.

#4. Travel in twos. Make sure your child knows to always take a buddy with them to a public play place. The bigger the gang of kids the better.

#5. Teach "stranger danger" and first aid rules. Tell your child what you want them to do if a strange adult or older child is rude or approaches them. One popular suggestion is to yell loudly and then run directly home. You can also teach them some simple first aid techniques and throw a band-aid in their pockets.

It's possible for us to tone down the helicoptering and encourage age-appropriate independence and a deep love of outdoor, creative physical play while keeping our children safe. It's time to take the streets back for our kids!

Laura Thomas is a mom who has just moved into a townhouse complex where her kids can ride bikes, play ball, have water fights and hang out in the community playground unsupervised and in relative safety. She is proud to now be one of those old-fashioned "go outside and play" moms and hopes that her helicoptering days are behind her. Laura is also Director of Writing for Cackleberries.com, a 100% safe place for children to play online.


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Summer Bridge Activities for Children Going Into The 2nd Grade



As a parent it is always exciting to see children progress to another grade. There are a number of summer bridge activities that a child can take part in to make sure they are ready for 2nd grade. These range from direct learning activities such as worksheets or practicing skills online to teaching opportunities in the real world.

Reading is very important to a child's educational development. Reading a book with your child on a daily basis can create enjoyable memories that will foster a lifelong love of learning. Reading helps to build vocabulary and spelling skills as well. Help your child select books from the public library on a weekly basis. Sign up for a summer reading program if your local library has one as well. Make sure your child is involved in the selection process for best results and get some books for yourself to act as a role model for your child.

Math skills are very important for your 2nd grader to be. There's no better place to start than practicing basic math facts. Start with addition and subtraction of small numbers, then practice some multiplication and simple division. There are many places online where you can practice for free or print worksheets. Have your child help make cookies to show them how math is used in daily living. Kids generally love to bake, especially cookies. Another way to teach your child math concepts is by having them add the price of grocery store items on one of your shorter grocery trips. They can use a calculator or teach them to estimate and write down the amounts on a little notebook. Additionally, you can ask your child to help you count money. This is a very important skill that is well worth the effort.

Do you plan summer outings to nature centers or parks? Take this opportunity to learn about trees or plants. Otherwise, consider having your child help you plant a garden. Get some basic books from the library to help your child understand the basics and get them a little gardening gear for fun. Have them keep a little journal over the summer about what they've learned about each activity. Have them draw pictures or make leaf prints. You can even have them store leaf specimens in little baggies that you can staple to the journal pages. Have them journal about vacations too. With just a little planning, it is easy to incorporate learning into nearly any activity.

Suzan Arslan enjoys writing about educational topics. Practice spelling words free online at Home Spelling Words with your own account using your words or importing our first grade spelling words.


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Sound Sleep for Children: Medicate or Meditate?



Growing minds and bodies need a lot of sleep as well as fresh air and exercise and many parents are concerned that their kids aren't getting enough sleep, or that the sleep they do get isn't quality sleep.

Children in turn often suffer from anxiety, stress, over-stimulation from too much video game playing or over-tiredness from being up too late. Often kids will fixate on upcoming tests or quizzes at school, or playing in an important sports match. Young minds often find it hard to switch off or to get out of the talk track that's running in their heads.

This is where meditation comes into its own.

It's not always easy to teach kids standard meditation. We live in an age of instant gratification and it's a rare child who wants to work at something every day without seeing much in the way of results. Kids will see (and hear) results with music lessons or language lessons more quickly than with learning to meditate, and how often do we need to encourage them to practice those skills every day? Not that teaching kids to meditate is a bad thing. It's just something that even adults can struggle to do well on a regular basis.

Using a meditation that has a hypnotic language track woven into it allows our kids to get the benefits of meditation without them having to still their minds. Currently, a huge number of our kids have a more than passing familiarity with the advantages of prescription drugs that help them to still their minds, amongst other things. Meditation can act in a complementary way with prescribed medicines to help kids feel more relaxed, calm and at peace.

And for those kids who haven't been prescribed medication, using therapies such as meditation can provide a more natural alternative.

Hypnotic language tracks can speak direct to the subconscious, providing encouragement and support. Listening to a meditation track at night can help to ensure a quick and easy slide into a deep sleep, which in turn allows the mind to begin the process of healing and further developing the body and brain.

There are different kinds of meditations on the market today. Some utilise hypnosis, while others use brainwave entrainment and still others provide guided visualisation. A good meditation can use all three techniques.

Children have wonderful imaginations and guided visualisation can help them to see the world around them differently, or give them a place where they feel safe. If the guide uses hypnotic language, this will allow the conscious mind to be bypassed and the subconscious can come to the fore and draw out any issues lying below the conscious awareness. Often, issues can be dealt with during this time without affecting the waking life of the child. At the same time, using brainwave entrainment means that the meditation will effectively cause the brain to move into a meditative state by itself as it copies and replays the sound frequencies it hears. Frequencies can be provided for states such as healing, anxiety reduction and immune function support, amongst others.

By using meditation, we can support our children, help them to improve health and wellness, gain self esteem and send them out into the world in a more positive state of mind. When we need to medicate, meditation is a useful support tool. When we don't need to medicate - why not meditate?

Phoebe Dangerfield is an NLP Master Practitioner, Results Coach and lover of hypnotic language. Phoebe has a free meditation download currently available at her blog http://www.meditationmonk.com/ The meditations available through meditationmonk.com do not contain subliminal messages, audiostrobe or screen flashing and can be used with or without headphones depending on what you choose.

Visit http://www.meditationmonk.com/ to get your free meditation download and to learn more about brainwave entrainment.


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Playground Equipment Helps Children Learn, Stay Out of Trouble



Children on break for the summer or a holiday may find themselves bored at home. While TV shows and video games may occupy their time, those may not be the healthiest options. The Center for Disease Control (CDC) recommends that kids get at least an hour of exercise a day. One option to help meet that goal is playground equipment at school or the park. Running around a few days a week allows boys and girls to get the necessary cardio they need to stay healthy. In addition, they can strengthen and tone their muscles on things like the pull-up station or monkey bars, and burn calories in the process. Many newer components are designed to match the requirements of the President's Fitness Council Challenge.

With school playground equipment, the potential for trouble declines. School administrators say they have noticed a decrease in any problems, due to students playing by the rules, cooperating, and just having fun. With playgrounds being easily accessible, it keeps students safe in more ways than one. First, it keeps them off the streets where they may find trouble or temptation from gang activity and other crime. Second, by being on a playground, they can avoid from other potential dangers, such as being hit by a car. In fact, a 2009 study revealed that children who get a minimum of 15 minutes recess had fewer behavior issues in the classroom.

Newer playground equipment also lets children learn while they may not even realize it. Many now feature colors and shapes, while others include games to stimulate a child's mind, or even exhibits featuring everyday lessons found in the classroom. These games test a child's skills in many subjects like math and science. Therefore, he or she is able to have fun, get exercise, and learn all at the same time. Something else playgrounds may teach children without them knowing it is how to be accepting of others. Newer school playground equipment is also compliant with the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA), allowing those in wheelchairs or with limited mobility enjoy the fun as well. Some are also green-friendly, often made from recycled materials.

Playground equipment also promotes children's safety. Many surfaces are lined with rubber mulch, which as opposed to traditional concrete, helps minimize the injuries a child endures from a fall. Many also include shaded areas, which protect kids from the heat and sun, as well as heat-related illnesses that could come from too much exposure, i.e. heat exhaustion or heatstroke.

Author writes about a variety of topics. If you would like more information about playground equipment, visit http://www.miracle-recreation.com/.


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Why Children Struggle In School



Our society is spending a tremendous amount on education, talking about education reform (mostly politicians to get elected), and parents' concerns increase as the economy fails. But all the efforts of teachers to improve reading scores, all the standards developed and debated, all the reform money for professional development and training, all the state assessments and results, and all those "scientifically researched methods and materials" are doing exactly what happened in the past: little or nothing. The question is, "Why?"

When we focus our intents and efforts on a goal, it is easier to achieve it, because we work toward it consistently. A better question might be, "What are we really focusing on in education?" From the point of view of an experienced educator who has worked with the most challenging students schools and districts have, we are focusing on the wrong things: end results. This is like a car manufacturer focusing on the appearance of a new car instead of its mechanical and structural integrity.

Our quality of educational product is poor for several reasons, most of which politicians do not care to address. Assumptions are made about what happens in education, how education happens, and who controls what happens in education. If you are interested in all the assumptions going on in and about education, go to the website for Easy School Success and read the free PDF files for Seeds for Change. It might open your eyes to the reality of what is not being addressed in education.

It seems that politicians choose to view education as a process like manufacturing. But manufacturers can control the factors of what happens, how it happens, and who controls what happens to produce good products. Why? They control by specifying the quality standards for the raw materials and what happens to those raw materials during the process of manufacturing. They control everything before and during the manufacturing process, which is why consumers can win lawsuits against them for defective products.

Children are not raw materials that remain constant before, during and after manufacturing processes. Children are growing, learning, adjusting, adapting to everything in their environment. How and when they change determines what and how they learn. No one is attending to how and when children develop the necessary conceptualization skills unique to the developing human brain. People who don't understand child development have "bet the farm" on Jerome Bruner's theory that anyone can be taught anything at any time. If anyone paid attention to how that can happen, they would find that many adjustments need to be made to accommodate the learner's developmental stages of readiness for instruction.

Unfortunately, the way education happens doesn't allow for individuals' needs to be accommodated for. Few people, including teachers themselves, understand all that a child needs to benefit from the instructional content teachers are mandated to teach. Until the system changes, until politicians stop their rhetoric about 'quick fixes' and really address the complexity of problems, children will continue to fail in school.

Who loses? Everyone in our society loses, because productive lives don't develop and social systems must develop to cope with the massive needs of those unable to provide for themselves.

Jennifer Little, Ph.D.

All children can succeed in school. Parents can help their children by teaching the foundational skills that schools presume children have. Without the foundation for schools' academic instruction, children needlessly struggle and/or fail. Their future becomes affected because they then believe they are less than others, not able to succeed or achieve or provide for themselves or their families. Visit http://parentsteachkids.com/ to learn how to directly help your child and http://easyschoolsuccess.com/ to learn what is needed for education reform efforts to be successful.


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Why Children Rebel - Parent How To: Kick Them Out When They're 10 Years Old!



Well, that's how it's done in the animal kingdom! With mammals, as soon as the young hit those 'teenage' years, they are given the boot - with the message, "go find your own pack."

DON'T KICK YOUR KIDS OUT AT 10 YEARS OLD!

However, understand the principle. We still are an 'animal' with all of the instincts and biological/physiological patterns needed to survive in the animal kingdom. That why our children rebel -- they hit their teenage years and they WILL start to fight for control of the pack - YOUR pack - the FAMILY.

Are you experiencing it now? Are your teenagers hard to get along with? Arguing over the least little thing? Uncooperative? Unresponsive? "Yeah, whatever" is his/her standard response?

Why children rebel at 2 - 5 years - they are learning that they have their own identity - that's where THOSE tantrums come from - "I can do it myself!"

Why children rebel in their Tweens -- they can become difficult because they are learning to think for themselves, develop and express their own opinions outside of their parents - so they fight for control of themselves.

And why children rebel in the mid to late teens -- they hit 14, 15, 16, 17 years old and YIKES! What happened to our happy, cooperative child? The aliens have taken over! At this age they ARE young adults. It is INSTINCTIVE for young adults of these ages to rebel against whatever authority exists, i.e. the parents, and develop their 'pack leading skills.'

This is really normal behaviour. They are growing, learning and challenging you as the leader of the pack. The way to show you are capable of still being the leader is "Don't ENGAGE!" Keep control on anger. Keep cool. And AGE APPROPRIATE, give them responsibility for those issues that affect only them, NOT the family.

One of our big issues was extended family events. The kids were required to come to extended family events until they were 16 years old, at which time they could choose. My oldest, especially, fought this one - he would eventually give in, but it was an area of challenge. We never gave in on that one because it affected even more than just the immediate family.

Homework, however, as much as I tried to insist, punish, reward, discipline, cajole, nag... pick any and every word you can find... it worked until the end of Junior High and then... That was one of those big issues that truly would only affect him and the entire rest of his life! Yeah, it was a big one BECAUSE it would affect him for the rest of his life. Yet I finally gave up the nagging - it truly was an issue that was only going to affect him.

Today he is a wonderful young man, 24 years old, and has chosen to go to university-and he's motivated and mature enough to know what he wants and to work at it. Couldn't force him to in high school, so I finally gave up.

My daughter has just graduated from 12th Grade. She's planning on living at home for a while, working fulltime and saving her money to travel. She hasn't quite decided on the next steps in her adult journey, and we're fine with that. I am not charging her rent, yet. Give it a year or so like I did the boys. And she has as much independence as she needs. However, I still expect her total help around the house with chores, cooking, etc. and I expect to know where she's going and when to expect her home - she's living at home, and I've always said, "my house, my rules." However, one of her friends is really struggling with his parents.

Daily life, minute-to-minute conversations are NOT much fun in that family right now. Mom and dad want to keep directing his life. He has no intention of letting them. They have laid down some rules for him about moving out - as in, if he wants to move out he MUST be able to... (fill in the blanks for yourself).

At this age, as a parent, you would be far better to keep your cool. If they want to move out, support them to do so in the best way possible. Will it fail? Will they move back home? Maybe. Will you be there with the safety net? Hopefully. But if all conversations are arguments and fights, is it possible you will injure that relationship beyond repair before they move out? Is that what you really want?

And if you have that one child that you KNOW came from your body but you are SURE belongs to another family... help is at http://whatsbetterparenting.com/
My 3 kids grew up to be charming, happy, productive, contributing adults in our society - despite my parenting! Our first was the hardest -- but at least he had the benefit of our enthusiasm!
Are boys REALLY different than girls?! Which are harder to parent? Boys! Girls!
What works and what DOESN'T?!
What are the long-term benefits and detriments?!
Check out Calm the Kids and Keep your Cool! http://angerisnotanemotion.com/jeanettes-best-seller/calm-the-kids-keep-your-cool/


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