Why Children Rebel - Parent How To: Kick Them Out When They're 10 Years Old!

Well, that's how it's done in the animal kingdom! With mammals, as soon as the young hit those 'teenage' years, they are given the boot - with the message, "go find your own pack."

DON'T KICK YOUR KIDS OUT AT 10 YEARS OLD!

However, understand the principle. We still are an 'animal' with all of the instincts and biological/physiological patterns needed to survive in the animal kingdom. That why our children rebel -- they hit their teenage years and they WILL start to fight for control of the pack - YOUR pack - the FAMILY.

Are you experiencing it now? Are your teenagers hard to get along with? Arguing over the least little thing? Uncooperative? Unresponsive? "Yeah, whatever" is his/her standard response?

Why children rebel at 2 - 5 years - they are learning that they have their own identity - that's where THOSE tantrums come from - "I can do it myself!"

Why children rebel in their Tweens -- they can become difficult because they are learning to think for themselves, develop and express their own opinions outside of their parents - so they fight for control of themselves.

And why children rebel in the mid to late teens -- they hit 14, 15, 16, 17 years old and YIKES! What happened to our happy, cooperative child? The aliens have taken over! At this age they ARE young adults. It is INSTINCTIVE for young adults of these ages to rebel against whatever authority exists, i.e. the parents, and develop their 'pack leading skills.'

This is really normal behaviour. They are growing, learning and challenging you as the leader of the pack. The way to show you are capable of still being the leader is "Don't ENGAGE!" Keep control on anger. Keep cool. And AGE APPROPRIATE, give them responsibility for those issues that affect only them, NOT the family.

One of our big issues was extended family events. The kids were required to come to extended family events until they were 16 years old, at which time they could choose. My oldest, especially, fought this one - he would eventually give in, but it was an area of challenge. We never gave in on that one because it affected even more than just the immediate family.

Homework, however, as much as I tried to insist, punish, reward, discipline, cajole, nag... pick any and every word you can find... it worked until the end of Junior High and then... That was one of those big issues that truly would only affect him and the entire rest of his life! Yeah, it was a big one BECAUSE it would affect him for the rest of his life. Yet I finally gave up the nagging - it truly was an issue that was only going to affect him.

Today he is a wonderful young man, 24 years old, and has chosen to go to university-and he's motivated and mature enough to know what he wants and to work at it. Couldn't force him to in high school, so I finally gave up.

My daughter has just graduated from 12th Grade. She's planning on living at home for a while, working fulltime and saving her money to travel. She hasn't quite decided on the next steps in her adult journey, and we're fine with that. I am not charging her rent, yet. Give it a year or so like I did the boys. And she has as much independence as she needs. However, I still expect her total help around the house with chores, cooking, etc. and I expect to know where she's going and when to expect her home - she's living at home, and I've always said, "my house, my rules." However, one of her friends is really struggling with his parents.

Daily life, minute-to-minute conversations are NOT much fun in that family right now. Mom and dad want to keep directing his life. He has no intention of letting them. They have laid down some rules for him about moving out - as in, if he wants to move out he MUST be able to... (fill in the blanks for yourself).

At this age, as a parent, you would be far better to keep your cool. If they want to move out, support them to do so in the best way possible. Will it fail? Will they move back home? Maybe. Will you be there with the safety net? Hopefully. But if all conversations are arguments and fights, is it possible you will injure that relationship beyond repair before they move out? Is that what you really want?

And if you have that one child that you KNOW came from your body but you are SURE belongs to another family... help is at http://whatsbetterparenting.com/
My 3 kids grew up to be charming, happy, productive, contributing adults in our society - despite my parenting! Our first was the hardest -- but at least he had the benefit of our enthusiasm!
Are boys REALLY different than girls?! Which are harder to parent? Boys! Girls!
What works and what DOESN'T?!
What are the long-term benefits and detriments?!
Check out Calm the Kids and Keep your Cool! http://angerisnotanemotion.com/jeanettes-best-seller/calm-the-kids-keep-your-cool/

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